Happy Birthday, America!I know you have been waiting to hear my thoughts about freedom, the pursuit of happiness, laws and lawgivers, and baseball. So here goes my July 4th homily. I’ve got to get this done in hurry so we can get our Christmas in July tree decorated so those boys down the road can blow it up with their unsafe and illegal fireworks. (That’s freedom, and The Man is not going to tell them what to do!)

Baseball or Freedom? There is no choice.
- Dad
Let’s start with baseball–and if I end up running out of time before I get to those other Very Important Topics, I apologize. But what would you rather hear about? My love of baseball, or my deep, moving reflections on “the American experiment”? I thought as much.
All you need to know is that baseball exemplifies all the best traits of American life, American dreams, American hospitality. Everyone is welcome to the Baseball Table–color, nationality, ethnicity, height, width, accent, language–and everywhere baseball is played professionally, there is prosperity and a solid middle-class. Look at any major league team: all sorts of folks, speaking all sorts of tongues, and all for one cause: to thrill me. That’s America.
Take last night’s D-backs game. Ninth inning, down 5 runs to the Brewers. Ladies and Gentlemen–-Chad Tracy. Game over, and. . . well, it’s the American dream–underdog, nowhere, hero, you get the plot.
Why is America great? Because it fought off the British in 1776 and 1812? Because it survived a civil war in 1865? Because it gave women the vote in 1920? Because we landed several men on the moon over several years with great technology, and had some really good programming about it on HBO produced by Tom Hanks, of Big fame, and Steven Spielberg, who is doing the new Indy movie? No, no, and no. And no. Because of Baseball. Beisbol, man, Baseball. And DirecTV. Baseball helped create the civil rights movement and introduced us to Jackie Robinson. Tell me the last time the NFL liberated a whole country!
So as you reflect on the relative merits of freedom, civilization, and eating more hot dogs than anyone should, think not about abstract concepts like “democracy” or “habeas corpus,” but about the concrete, unassailable reality of Baseball, how it warms the heart, how it cures the soul and the soil, how it saves the day.
Happy 4th o’ July, Family, Friends, and Total Strangers. Go Astros! and Go Indians. Spread baseball to the other continents and galaxies. They need hope too!
–Your Friendly Neighborhood Interpreter of Culture and Eternity